Grumpy Book Grrrl

a writer and reader

We read a lot in the name of science. We’re basically a research institute unto ourselves. It takes fortitude, patience, and perseverance, but we do what we do for the benefit of all of human kind. When others may be wary or hesitant, you can count on a member of our team to step up and take the plunge. We MacHalos are fearless.

So when it was brought to our attention that a young woman had a rather risque experience involving a Martian ant colony, who better to investigate than one of our very own? That’s right, you heard me: A MARTIAN ANT COLONY. You may be asking yourself, “How would that work? Ants are tiny” or  saying “I had no idea there were ants on Mars!” Trust me, we had the same reaction. That is why it was absolutely necessary to get to the bottom of this. In the name of science of course.  

Violated by Monsters: The Martian Ant Colony

Violated By Monsters: The Martian Ant Colony

The story starts with McKenzie, a very smart and studious girl (as you can obviously tell from the above image) who just wants to be taken seriously in the professional world. It’s not her fault that she was blessed with a naturally fit physique and huge jugs, right? Anyway, she’s an assistant museum coordinator and they are getting ready to reveal their newest acquisition, if it weren’t for all the damn ants everywhere. Seriously people, call an exterminator. But a little pesky ant problem isn’t going to get in the way of the big reveal. Can you guess what their new prized possession is?

If you guessed Martian ants, you’d be wrong (kinda), but if you guess a Martian space rock you’d get the gold star! And not only is it an awesome space rock, it’s also one that’s composed of a very special material no one has ever seen before. And, get this, it comes with a bonus side-effect: it’s making people very, very….ehem, how shall I put this? Horny. Yes, that’s it. It’s making people horny.

After accidentally staying late at work, fantasizing about giant monsters of all things (because she’s so professional and all), McKenzie is shaken out of her daydream by a jolting rumble. Despite her now overwhelming urge to sit in her office and masturbate, she is compelled to go downstairs. She allows this undeniable pull to lead her down into the basement and to the supply closet, where it appears the door has been chewed and a tunnel now dug out leading down into the earth. This glowing tunnel beckons McKenzie to follow, and like any girl with a good head on her shoulders, she does.

I bet you know where this is going, right?

Seems like those little pesky ants from the beginning have turned into some big, horny ants just looking for someone to pierce with their throbbing ant-manhoods. Anthoods?

And this, my friend, is where the ant love train begins.

Let me share a few of my favorite lines:

“The ant’s massive cock is on display for me, a red tower of sex just beaconing for my lips to be wrapped around.”

“I glance around to see that there’s an entire circle of ants lying on their backs around me, their giant red dicks standing straight up like giant rockets towards the sky from which they came”

“They spill into my butt over and over again, using my body as a personal cum dumpster for their alien seed.”

And my favorite new term: a “sexual ant-kabob.”

So what I learned in the name of science is,

A.) It’s possible to be the perfect example of the female form with zero effort.

B.) There’s some freaky space dust or pheromones that get people wanting to get all freaky with each other and shit.

C.) Apparently ants are capable of having human-like schlongs, complete with balls and all.

D.) Well, I’ll let you figure this one out if you read the story yourself.

Look guys, this is really a public service we perform. We read this stuff so you don’t have to. Unless you want to. ‘Cause if you want to you’ll totally get no judgment from us!

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9 thoughts on “Martian Ants Need Love Too

  1. Ahahaha! I do not read erotica or erotica book reviews but these ones you guys review are legit gold. 😛

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aw, thanks 😄 We just can’t help ourselves!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh my. Ha ha. I didn’t think this was real and then clicked on the link just to check. It’s a real book! Oh no. Thanks for reading it so I don’t have to. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s part of our standard service 😉 If you come across any titles that you’re interested in but don’t want to ruin your kindle cred, let us know. I’m sure one of us will check it out for you lol. -Sam

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’ll keep my eye out. I have a friend who wrote one of these, but he’d be horrified if I reported him. Ha ha.


      2. Lol, well there’s a reason most use pseudonyms when writing this particular genre. If he’d give his permission, we’d definitely give it a shot ;)-Sam

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I sent him a note. 🙂 FYI – It is under a pseudonym and publicity is publicity!


      4. Approved! Here’s one that I think you’ll get a kick out of. Passion Pirates of the Lost Galaxy. Just to be clear – I am not the author! Ha ha.

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Awesome! It’s pretty perfect since we’re doing a scifi romance month in June. This will definitely go on the list!

        Liked by 1 person

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