This Freaky Friday edition is about a short story I read last year and is hands down one of the best alien smuts I have EVER read. First of all, look at this glorious cover:
It’s written by someone named Emma Steele, and she doesn’t have a whole lot of titles under this name. Unfortunately. This had humor, was well-written, and just flipping ROCKED. Here is my review from Goodreads.
My name is Debbie Archer. I’m 50 feet tall and I can’t get enough of the monster peen. But being so tall, regular peen just isn’t realistic for me anymore. So I had to go and screw Godzilla, and it was AMAZING. It even activated my kundalini and my chakras got all tuned up! Then, I got sucked through a wormhole and somehow ended up regular sized again, on a ship in 1987 with… Sigourney Weaver, Tom Skerritt, Harry Dean Stanton, John Hurt, and Veronica Cartwright?!?!
Debbie: To top that off, they tell me they have a mission to capture all these TV aliens in space that somehow really exist because of complicated science reasons I don’t really understand – and then they show me where they’ve got them all locked up, so of course, after I screw the humans, I end up doing the aliens! ALF was there, some reptilian from Star Trek, Mork from Mork & Mindy, the Great Magoo, and some others … but these guys made the biggest impression…
Yep, I did them both. And loved it!
He’s got a three inch peen!
See that glowing finger? Well, it’s HOT, literally, and he likes to stick it places. The perv.
Anyway, I’m insatiable, and unstoppable, just like the Sia song! You’ll have to read it for yourself to find out what happens after the Xenomorph from Aliens shoots his creature sauce all over the spaceship (hint: that shizz eats through everything but diamonds). I have to go now because I see someone – something? – else I need to have sex with! Byeeee!
Me: Thanks Debbie, I’m sure everyone will want to read your story now!
So, I’m not sure if this is some bizarre version of fan fiction?
Whatever it is, I thought it was great. This really appealed to my inner sci-fi geek, as well as being hilarious. This was actually written very well and incorporates a lot of fun sci-fi theories and fantastic satire. This may be the best monster porn/smut I’ve ever read. It was gross, but so over the top, I just laughed.
I don’t usually give monster porn five stars (or even rate it usually because, while it satisfies my bizarre and twisted cravings, they are not usually all that). But this one? This one, my friends, is how it’s done. Take notes, authors of niche erotica, because this, for what it is, is freaking BRILLIANT! Yep, I’m going there. This was hilarious and awesome!
Until next time: stay freaky.