So, my depression and anxiety have been rearing their ugly heads and since I don’t really have anyone to talk to about it, I thought I would write a blog! Here is a conversation-style dialogue between myself and depression/anxiety.
Me: I want to get healthy and lose weight!
Depression: Why bother?
Me: I want to have more friends.
Anxiety: I don’t want to be around people.
Me: Yay for me, I got a job promotion!
Depression/Anxiety: You aren’t smart enough. Look at all the mistakes you have made. You should give up!
Me: Sometimes I wish I wasn’t single.
Depression: You’re too fat to be in a relationship.
Me: I need to make some positive changes in my life.
Depression/Anxiety: It’s been a rough day. We wouldn’t make any changes right now. Better to stay where it’s comfortable.
Me: I’m tired of struggling, I want a better life.
Depression: It’s always going to be this way.
Me: I want to write a book!
Anxiety: You’re not good enough. Do you know how impossible it is to be a successful writer?! No one will read it.
Me: I really need to go to the store and get groceries.
Anxiety: It’s so busy today. Best to wait until it’s not so crowded.
Maybe you can relate to some of these statements.
- In my mind, I am kind and wish the best for everyone. What comes out is cranky and negative.
- Mornings are rough and it’s hard for me to fall asleep because of a restless mind.
- If I am in a store and an aisle is crowded, I will find another aisle to avoid having to maneuver through people.
- I often under-perform because I’m afraid (anxious) of failure or being a disappointment to others.
- I worry a lot and usually expect the worst case scenario.
- I often feel like a failure as a parent and person in general because it’s so hard to get motivated to do anything.
- I feel like a horrible person whenever I hear about all the things other people are doing that I have no interest in.
- I have to commute to work and it is a big source of stress.
Depression and anxiety are no fun. At least I can “function” with it. For others, it can be crippling and unmanageable. If you have depression/anxiety, you are not alone. Don’t give up!